I was falling in love

But no one caught my fall

I trust fell through love

and I continued to fall deeper through love

Until I fell past love

Past the illusion of it

Half way between infinity and half way away from here

This depth — where there is two doors

This most existential of dimensions

One door is the illusion that you are loved

The other is the illusion that you are not loved

Both equally open and inviting but I choose the door in the left

Where I am loved

And more free still, even more free

a voice , not my own, asks “this isn’t reality, is it?”

And I answer, in a voice also not my own, “no,

this is not.”

Humans are confused by consciousness and controlled by subconsciousness

At least that’s what the doctors decided to share with me today

and I shared with him, the one thought that gives me solace nowadays is that no matter what it is, when it is, or how it is… everything

Absolutely everything is

Somewhere.

That place is here, with me.