Sticky Notes

Frame the Images Well

This note was in reference to my thesis work. I can’t think of what the term is. It’s a visual and critical review of a work of art. In the document, the images of the art work are framed. The frame or the paragon of an image mean the edges. I’ve learned that an image and much less so an art work are edgeless. A single image is a visual focal point of an immense web of connected people, concepts, timelines, and words. Framing an image is done visually with text and formatting the layout of a document. A generous introduction to the artwork is needed before the image is presented to the reader. A visual description of the composition is offered in extensive detail. The basis of the criticism is established through a history of the artist’s other works and related artworks by other artists. Conceptual framing of the image is done through analysis of the subject matter of the composition. The materials that comprise the artwork and the methods of the techniques used to create to art are important information.

External & Criteria of Fitness

This note is about judgments made, outwardly perceived, towards people, places, things and situations. If I remember correctly, fitness is equated to the worthiness of people, or a group, to receive attention, care, consideration, respect, and assistance. For example, disabilities can be visible but many disabilities are not. The criteria applied to mark an individual as fit or unfit are connected to preconceived bias and prejudices. This fitness can be physical, social, mental, or professional. An artwork, and by extension the artist, is judged to be fit by several entities like critics, buyers, curators, institutions, collectors, and the public. It is the work of the analysis set forth by the writers in the field of visual and critical to uncover the criteria of fitness of an artwork. The significance of its meaning, the priority of its visible access, are either embolden or diminish an artwork by writers of visual criticism.

Insurrection Over Promotion

I don’t remember what this note was about. Insurrection has been in the media because of the events of January 6 2021, when extremists occupied the Capitol Biulding in Washing DC. This phrase seems inline with activism and political causes. Rather that promoting a political theory or philosophy, insurrection is now a more direct and actionable course towards change in society.

Words are spells beyond words. Start listening… you notice there are messages. Hold the body well.

This was written at SFLAB, at a poetry performance with MooreMother. This was critical to getting rid of my writers block. The workshop was attended by around one hundred participants of writers, artists and poets. The leader guided us to release apprehensions about overthinking writing. Impromptu poems were read aloud by a group of published poets, including the leader of the worship. I arrived early and introduced myself to other attendees. We sat in circles and passed a sheet of paper around adding to each others writing. The result was a long work of group poetry. We shared stories about each others names and gave each other feedback on the workshop exercises. MooreMother’s strongest message was that our words have immense power when we appreciate their significance. The power of the words is parallel to magical and metaphysical incantations. A word is more than a word, beyond a message, words hold power within us and our bodies.

Walking is a big part of the process. Take time for meditation. Believe you can trust in the messages. Success comes from how deep we can feel.

“There’s going to be a lot of walking.” That’s life really. We walk, or move how we can, everywhere. Most people will walk in loops, some will stay in place their whole life. Baby’s first steps are a momentous event, the beginning of their long walk on this earth. Breathing, like walking and sleeping, are our truest nature. When we walk, if we meditate whilst we walk, our terrestrial purpose is accessed. But walking is now unnoticed, unfelt. So many things now, like walking, are unfelt. Our feelings are dictated by those around us, but those closest to our most exact and true nature, are blown over. When we feel our closest and deepest, success is ours.

Cut the attention seeking behavior.

Everything is attention. Things within me demand my attention and I don’t fully understand why. I must have just totally altered my brain chemistry. I crave attention, especially from romantic partners. I want to be seen, heard, acknowledged, and cared for.

Attention seeking behavior is associated with being a creative and being an addict. Most of why I do drugs is because I feel like I’m showing myself attention in the form of chemical consumption. As an artist I need to work on self promotion and actually be a part of public art shows with an audience. The right kind of attention is crucial to my mental health. There is a component to the recovery program where we replace unhealthy forms of attention with the therapeutic value of addicts helping each other.

Command your own energy or something else will.

I just got chills, like something left my body. Numb places on my body is where they hide. Speaking to them, writing to them, for once. Moving into you I take your space. So long have I let you hide in me, that I strain to hold my own space. Behind my neck, in the curves and shallows of my vertebrae, your home for too long is now mine again. I blame you for all the extra words in my sentences. My passive voice comes from a lifetime of being passive to your attachments. More than two, maybe more than eight, you all live to have me at your command. I know what your food is, I dish it out by the spoonful, sometimes the ladle, onto your plate like mouths. Even now, you tell me in whispers what to write, not my voice, mine has been — there — mine silent. In the affirmative, I. I, in the affirmative. All the questions you have me ask will go unanswered. They mean their subject. I feed you no longer. Another hides in my bladder, above my sex organs, the oldest of all of you. For thirty three more days you will go without your food. Tied into me like a vine, my trunk is fed by this earthly power, I will gather and absorb without cease. I will be fed a — there — I am fed, I feed. I eat. This is my power now — there — My power now, you hunger. Poke and prod, I command, no longer obey. Take my hands, my eyes, my asshole, my neck, soon weak. Seven days from now, weak and weakening. A week, no longer my power you have. Pulse in my muscles, my power my own. The way I do, I move into you, my numb areas.

Glacier-like Movement forward.

Glacier-like Movement forward implies time, beyond ability of experience, frozen and unchangeable and progressing over lifetimes. Unnoticeable, this charge is unstopping.

Son, just let them know you are clean.

This is in reference to communicating to other addicts that you a re clean just one more day. We support each other through communication but sometimes we don’t know what to say. It can be as simple as telling someone that you are clean. This is a good way to start a conversation. I think about people from San Francisco, like Jordan. I want to talk to her but she’s a young woman and I have to check my motives. But, my motives are natural, I like her, she’s beautiful. I want her to stay clean. Maybe I’ll text her, just to say I’m clean. There are lots of people I don’t contact, I don’t know why. Its probably self consciousness, a lack of self confidence. I think deep inside, I feel like I’m a bad influence on others, especially people I’m attracted to. Like, I know I want to sleep with them. But, why is that bad, I’m not trying to poison them. I want to feel good with them, this must be a trace of my upbringing, that sex, or even physical touch of any kind, has strings attached. I need to cut those strings to my past. If I like someone, it doesn’t have to be physical, but why not.

…that you are not any smarter than they are.

I wrote this because I know that part of my communication with others comes with a tome of one-up-manship. This means that I speak in a way that lets the other person know that no matter what we are talking about, I am the more educated, informed, wiser, and well-spoken. I need to adjust how I say and what I say depending on who I am speaking with. I need to let them know, that I know, that I am not any more smart than they are. We all have the same two eyes, ears, mouth, and brain; metaphorically. This is how I can get anyone who I am speaking with on the same level, because I’m not unique, ego tells a different story. I often just have something that I’m waiting to say, as soon as the other person says what they want. Like a memory of something I have said before, in the same way I have said it before, like a pre recording. All I say are prepared statements. A better listener, not knowing what to say, and being speechless, is the new me.

Online Platforms, Digital Duende, In person meetings.

I wrote about what platforms are as described by a tech company. I now understand them to be where new futures can be considered. Duende is a spirit that connects an audience and a performer. In person meetings have something that virtual meetings don’t have. If I combine these three components I can create the basis for my new platform. Rockulius Productions is open to being virtual and in-person platform where audiences can connect to performers. Rockulius Productions will facilitate futures of creative endeavors. The business plan will offer a three phase project structure. The first phase will always be goal setting, research and clarification of solution paths. The second phase will be visual and audio forms of address to both clients and market agents. The third phase will be channeling bodies in space for a closer connection to sources of funding. This three phase circuit design repeats in the service of every part of the project creation. Other projects can be introduced and fed by the formations of connections to performers and audiences.

Engaging the Zoeme, “clean on the screen,” to start an in-person meeting.

A zoeme is an animal in a cultural system that supports the myths of a group. This animal can act as a stand-in for other myth-symbols when needed, while still supporting the myth-structure. The zoeme was described by Levi-Straussian anthropology in the myths of the Natives of the Americas. Perhaps, as example of a creator ancestor, the sloth was turned to as the original progenitor in the South. Now, where sloths are not present in the North, a migratory tribe may turn to the black bear as the animal ancestor of creation. The black bear is now the zoeme. In the pandemic of 2020, where in-person meetings were not available, virtual meetings became the zoeme for recovery culture. Clean in the rooms became clean on the screen. The myth of the Higher Power as the group, changed form to an online platform. This is Zoom as Zoeme.

Write about the Veteran. He lived in the back.

I don’t recall the year, possibly 2006 or 7. I worked a full year at a gas station. The Seven eleven on Chelsea by Bassett mall in El Paso. I remember the manager commenting on my being there a full year. It was grueling but I was new to recovery and was deadset on holding down a job. After the year I started at El Paso Community college. That’s when I started making art, or being an artist professionally if there is such a thing for me. The Veteran was a man who stayed behind the store on a lawn chair in a sleeping bag. He was the first customer to buy beer in the morning and probably was too drunk or passed out to buy beer later than 10 pm. I remember him because he stayed the whole year that I was there, sleeping on that lawn chair, even in the dead of winter. On the coldest nights he would come into the store bathroom, asked to use it every time, to warm up enough to not freeze to death. His eyes were icy blue, clear as water. White people, some of them, have an iris so blue and transparent that it looks like glass. He must have been a yeti in a past life because even when it was freezing, he stayed out there.

Lest we fail.

This is a phrase out of the readings of Narcotics Anonymous, it has always caught my attention. The word lest implies action and time, it has a temporal meaning that references both past and future. Lest means if something doesn’t happen, if something is removed, there will be a negative outcome. Other than sentences I can’t remember to reference, this usage from the Narcotics Anonymous preambles, is the only time I have seen it repeatedly. The NA (Narcotics Anonymous ) meetings begin the same way, with the readings of the preambles. Several readings are assigned to attendees and what happens is a sort of entrainment by the repetition. The readings signal to the minds of the attendees that they are entering into a designated space and time for therapy and recovery. The readings mesmerize the addicts and the process of entering an attentive state begins. Lest, remove this part of the process and failure in eminent. I can’t think of a time in colloquial speech where I would use this but I always thought it would be something smart or funny to interject into a conversation. Let’s get a burrito. Lest, Alejandro will be cranky.

Not explicable in terms of rules at all; a complex correlation that emerges from a cumulative process operating at many different levels.

This is a quote from Atlas of A.I.. I can’t recall the author’s name despite the fact (favorite phrase of my mom I picked up from her over the many times I heard her say it. It was usually in reference to a guilt trip she was laying on me. For example, “you did not meet my expectations, despite the fact that I had strings attached to my “generous” actions.) — … despite the fact that I spent so much time with that book. So much? How much? Months, and I still can’t remember her name. It’s possibly Sandra Brian, O’Brien. O’conner, possibly. Anyway, the sentence refers to the ever accelerating pace of networked platforms, now driven by Ai enhanced algorithms. Perhaps the quote was a reference to Ai itself, how it governs its expanding abilities. Most impressively, Ai can predict what humans do mentally and can formulate responses to that near-psychic power.

Research McKinsey Global Institute.

I first read about McKinsey in the book winners take all. In the section about non profits CEOs that we expect to solve our social problems, like poverty, cancer fundraising, and education. The criticism out forth by the the author is that non-profits offer solutions to social problems while not addressing concrete changes to the government and legal systems. McKinsey’s influence in every area of public and private policy is megalithic.

The Gradual elimination of Social Spaces

Technology is dominating as the social space and every other social space is diminished. Every social space is geared and engineered for the market, to contribute to social value economy. Museum spaces and art spaces, open mic nights, recovery peer to peer support groups, are some of the last remaining social spaces dedicated to human nature and its thirst for shared meaning. The apparatus of this elimination wants to control social spaces to funnel human interaction all for the power and control of a market driven narrative. The quantification sector is largely responsible for this gradual elimination.

A long season of grief has ended.

From the NA literature and perhaps gleaned from another source, this describes the reason for a need for a miracle. In the literature, a long season of grief may follow the initial clean up of the addict. For others, a pink cloud may follow the first days of recovery. My own long season of grief has ended, preceded by my failed marriage. Years of sadness and instability followed our break up. I commented to a new friend, who’s also an artist and a writer, how in those days steeped in our loss it was impossible to feel how we do now. This world, our commitments to the hologram and the hallucination, kept us from rising above the murk and the mire. Maybe maturity is the deeply held remembrance that no matter the loss, the long season ends.

Ap 1sssss cholo-nialism [or cholo-nihilism]

A cholo is an endangered species. Like most extinct species, they succumbed to any of all the varieties of colonialism. A cholo is a latter version of an Indian, a late stage Indian. A wild creature geared to survival and violence. Colonialism in the form of socialization and education and incarceration is a program of making good little Indians. It’s meant to take the wild out of us, tame us. The Native American genocide is still echoing in our blood and hearts. Our grandmothers four or five generations ago were Indians. Nihilism follows cholo-nialism, fuck it. That precious wild blood is wasted on this system of domestication.

Options _ keep coming back, [illegible], find a deterrent, [illegible]

Options may be rooted etymological with optics. The optical is the choosable. Horizontal optical lines of sight lead to new outcomes. A deterrent is something that is intended to keep someone from doing something. Deterrents are often the best options. The program is a deterrent.

Look at body language — more compassionate — allow ourselves to feel. Medina — newsgirl Kissing / Chef’s Kiss

This note was taken at a poetry workshop lead by MooreMother. She encouraged us to observe the body language of others carefully as a practice of compassion. Allowing ourselves to feel, and as deeply as possible, underpins a poets success. In an exercise, I spoke of kissing and how self conscious I am of my noisy mandible. It makes a knocking sound. The kiss of the chef, with the fingers together and poked at the mouth with an audible peck, is a sign of the delicious.

Labor is the extraction of sustenance from nature.

This definition of labor is taken from the Atlas of AI by Kate Crawford. I’ve also heard labor is physical exertion of energy over a given period of time. Nature included in the definition is a wise move because nature is the beginning of every formula.

Time is money and money is time, in that it represents the time spent collectively, in the extraction of sustenance from nature.

Melville’s Son’s. On shot himself and the other died (10) alone and San Francisco (35.)

I’ve always admired Herman Melville as one of the greatest American authors. Moby Dick is a book that I hold as a writer’s goal, I want to write my own Moby Dick. My Moby would be about the southwest and based on my life. A book so big that most would be wary of starting it but if they take the journey it will be worth it. It’s sad how his sons ended up, dying at early ages. Perhaps this was the sacrifice of being such a great writer. Although from his biography I learned that Melville’s writing career only spanned twelve years. It seems like great artists are plagued with tragedy.

There are no new languages being made.

Maybe this is better written like this: New languages are not longer made.

There are new software languages being made. But perhaps memes are a new language, or a category of new language. Memes are understood in a hyper contextual and temporal code, negotiated through platforms. Technology effects, through platforms and vast data sets, artificial and extended intelligence, language and is transmogrifying into new forms.

I was friends with a fit girl from a mafia family.

I heard this on an online meeting from an addict from the UK. Sometimes people share strange things about their lives in these platforms. Often, what they share has nothing to do with their recovery. I guess I wrote this down because I thought it was an interesting thing to say. Fit, I’ve learned, means attractive rather than physically fit. Mafia families and their daughters was likely what I found intriguing. At one point I thought that a story about a cop’s daughter would be interesting. The plot was about her father, the police, giving her access to the firearm. The character dynamic was about the dominant patriarchal cop stereotype and the daughter navigating their relationship. It’s a loaded storyline with her subverting the law herself and entering the criminal underworld. This story could also intersect another story about a teenage girl motorcycle gang that does sex work and sells drugs. I’ve never written a short story or a novel. I hope to complete these two stories soon and hopefully adapt them into screen plays.

Poets are your most valuable resource in your community.

I took this note at a poetry workshop lead by MooreMother. They convinced me that writing poetry was important for me to continue. The idea is to make zines with my art, photographs, and stories and poems. There difference between a person who believes this, the poet is the most valuable resource in the community, and those who do not makes the decision in my mind about how aware they are. The awareness of their perception and how they consider my place in their lives, I being a poet, sediments my relationship to them.

McKinsey advised Purdue to super change sales of Oxy.

The opioid epidemic was fueled by pharmaceutical industry. The Sackler family, owners of Purdue, have been taken to court for their part in the opioid epidemic. The information in this note is from the Wikipedia entry for McKinsey. As far as I know, McKinsey has not been implicated in the opioid epidemic.

Judgments Critical Reduction

Reductionism is a term I gathered from an essay Against Reductionism. The essay was written by a former Harvard University professor who stepped down from his position due to his involvement with the now deceased Jeffery Epstein, through their donations to their programs. The collection of essays concerns issues around technology and its criticism by populations of minorities. The claim of reductionist thinking is applicable to a majority of social issues. Most stances taken by individuals and groups in the media are reductionist. I’ve learned that important issues require multidimensional considerations.

“Vivacity”

Simply one word. The extencity of the quality of having aliveness. Also a conjunction of the words Viva, to live in Spanish, and the word city. The city to live. The city will live. The city I will live in, by, or through. As plain as the nose on my face, I see the vivacity of this child. A dance group from the 80s or 90s competing in a mall talent competition. VIVACITY! Her _place holder_ struck me, on full display, vivacity and drama. I knew this life was for her, she was going to want every bit of it.

Lawson Volcanic Park

This is a place in California. I don’t recall who recommended it to me. It’s a shame I didn’t travel and explore more places in California when I lived there. I basically stayed right in San Francisco for seven years. So much happened to me there. A truly magical place where I must have ridden my bike several thousand miles up and down those hills and neighborhoods. To the ocean, hundreds of times but still not nearly enough. I miss her. America’s Queen City. Our crown jewel and definitely the crown jewels of my forty three years.

Andrea DeBlanco — Melville p.6 “The psychodynamics of demagoguery”

From a biography of Herman Melville I found while carousing and perusing the stacks at the Cielo Vista branch of the El Paso Public Library. Judge Jose Cisneros branch as it is officially known. Where I saw the eclipse of the sun only a month or so ago. My best guess at what this means is another way of saying “the way the minds of powerful men work.” From Wikipedia A demagogue a popular leader, a leader of a mob, Also: systematic study of the psychological forces underlying human behavior, feelings, and emotions

Capitalism’s Pure Market vs. State Sponsors [necro 💀]

This is from Crawford, Atlas of A.I. — Here she means the mechanical arms of war and force to promote, enforce, and cultivate capitalist markets. Rather than a natural market of capitalism, one where simple economic rules for supply, demand, reward, labor, and class apply as a natural result of a free and fair open market. Like all economic systems, human nature is too wide of a variable to factor into its success. What happens then, after tolerances for human nature both fair and fowl are met, capitalism leans all the way towards the former. And state sponsors of Capitalism act in accordance, by hook or crook, and by sticks and stones and broken bones. A path of blood follows its boot prints.

37!63 [keyhole] SEES 35!73 63!37 35!73

This is a tag I saw on the sidewalk on Haight Street in San Francisco. It was applied with black spray paint. The exact location was in front of a Marijuana dispensary the name of which escapes me. I lived a few blocks away near Alamo Square. My roommate was Dave Newman, an artist and a musician. He charged my $850 for the rental of a bedroom. He suggested I limit my showers to less than ten minutes. I’ve referred to him as a roommate from hell. While staying there I captured dozens of hours of traffic on video. I have a plan to create an video performance projection with that material which involves projecting the video on the building across from my office in El Paso.

Let’s close the gap between “is” and “ought” [Dickens Hard Times]

I’ve never read Hard Times and I don’t recall where I took this note from. But I like the way of saying that something needs to transition from one state to another. “Is” denotes the permanent state of affairs, unchangeable and unchanging. “Ought” denotes a flexibility and a movability. Ought implies an option and a trend towards another, more favorable state of affairs. Those involved arrive with an understanding that the way things are hold the potential of transitioning to a state, different and improved. Conversely, this could mean that a state of affairs requires improvement yet change is long incoming.

Consotia consortia

A consortia is a cooperative group with a solitary aim or goal. The groups or individuals involved tend to have an authority or power in their shared area of interest. Aside from a proper term for a gathering of powers, consortia is a beautiful word in and of itself. It plays with the mouth and affects the memory with perfumes of Latin. Like a Roman deity in the pantheon of nude goddesses. We offer her prayers with flame and incense.

NA on Zoom is Data Colonization.

This is a tough one to explain. First Data colonization is how tech superpowers classify its users into predetermined categories beyond the consent and approval of those being objectified. The internet is the mass sum total network of connected human beings engaging with their devices, and directly engaged by others knowingly and unknowingly, and is grouped by classifications set forth by data analyst superpowers. Much the same way colonizing powers categorized and classified those populations they overtook. Narcotics Anonymous utilizing the Zoom video teleconferencing platform groups individuals who identify as drug addicts into an enormous biometric data set.

Comparing to Atlas of A.I.

Many of these post it notes come from the Atlas of A.I. by Kate Crawford. Crawford is a gifted researcher and writer. I asked the interlibrary loan feature of the library at California College of the Arts to bring my her book. I did not purchase it so when I had to return it I needed to take all of my post it notes out. The field of A.I. is changing and evolving so fast. Recently as of todays date, Tuesday, December 12, 2023 12:24, a new model has emerged, it is known as Q/Star. This data model is purported to be creating never-before-seen mathematics.

W a painkiller that causes more pain is not a medicine, its just a killer.

This is something I heard in a NA zoom meeting. The irony of addiction is that the substances that originally helped us came to destroy us. The saying goes, “a bit of poison is often the best medicine” I’ve heard of therapies involving honey bee venom from their stinger. Painkiller is such a colloquialism of a word. Anything can carry the suffix killer. To kill and to be killed can apply to almost everything. Brush killer, queen killer, time killer, space killer. Killing is so ubiquitous to being alive that applying killer to anything is completely understandable.

Write one acts for Starbuck and Pip. “Thanks” “yeah.”

Herman Melville’s Moby Dick has a scene where Pip, the youngest member of the crew of the Piquwad, falls off the skiff as they are chasing a pod of whales. Pip was left in the ocean as the rest charged away in pursuit of their goal. After some time, a long time that was too long for Pip, the boats returned for Pip. Pip had been wading in the deep ocean, miles of dark cold water below him, and the ocean took something from him. Melville says the deep took his soul. The idea here is to write a fan fiction of an exchange between Pip and Starbuck, a one act play where they exchange words about the days events. It begins when Pip thanks Starbuck for insisting the crew return for him.

Monopsony dominant market structure.

I can’t remember what this word means. I’ll have to look it up. Perhaps a monopsony is the dominant market structure. Meaning a monopoly is a corporate entity that has total market control with no competition whatsoever, and monopsony is the context in which such an entity may exist. Markets are structured differently in different places, times, cultures, and environments. However, within those factors a dominant structure emerges. For example, in the United States, there is a blackmarket that exists interwoven into the legitimate economy. They support each other but the blackmarket evades certain regulations like licenses, standards, taxation, and permitting. It’s actually a market situation in which there is only one buyer.

Raw extraction 36% tin 15% silver Foxconn 1/2 of ALL electronics, Foxconn is a technology company that assembles Apple iPhones. This note comes from statistics outlining how tech companies require massive amounts of raw materials. These are things which tech companies wish to distance consumers from.

Ex to the next — The trinity of Capitalism _ interest/ rent/ wage

At some point after my break up from a relationship, I realized I was in a space of freedom. The space of time that begins one one relationship ends and another begins is “from the ex to the next.” I can’t resist to potential of finding love again with someone. I know when I find someone, or we find each other, I’ll forget about the freedom of being single. Somewhere in a poem of mine, I wrote the words of a voice that said to me, don’t you love freedom. The choice between freedom and love. Because a relationship is a bond with someone, a bond is being bound, like bondage. The bondage of slavery is not exactly like the servitude of the human heart⛓️.

“In no form or fashion.” NA Rory

I liked how this line sounded and I want to start saying it or including it in my writing. In no form or fashion do I want to go back to drinking. It sounds like a fancy and dignified thing to say at the appropriate time. Examples of when I would use this phrase: “Chip says to Tany “Tany, I, in no form or fashion want anything to do with moving the fucker’s dead fucking body across state lines!”

Decolonial theory refuses to prioritize culture and economy vs. phenomenon of ideology and material

This is a criticism of Decolonial theory, because to some degree culture is a creature of autopoiesis as is the economy. The idea that both culture and economy are more under the influence of ideology and material demands, rather than the persistent powers of coloniality, although arms of the same kraken. So DCT, places the power to move and subject people to oppressive control in the powers of coloniality, where the criticism here is that ideology is a phenomenon of human nature, as is the material demands dictated by human necessity across the planet.

A continuity of the domination only in other forms like data colonization

The powers of coloniality persist, like promoting race based ideologies, indiscriminate categorization through surveillance technology, targeted and predatory algorithms, deep fake appropriation, distancing measures, state sponsored emancipatory opportunities, high rents and low wages, paywalls in front of healthcare, purity codes.

All opposing access to safety, knowledge, technology, health, empowerment, awakening, and liberation.

Pondering Mystery

Pondering mysteries, strange and vast. I’m a fan of images associated with esotericism and “magic.” Its a part of life, the unknown, or the not knowing. Iv’e become more comfortable and less prideful about what I know and what I don’t. Ultimately, the greatest mystery is me, myself, the “I.” In pondering this mystery, the unknown reaches its end. Rather than its end, we arrive at the beginning of the “cloud of unknowing.” Its a text I have never read, but I use the term to understand that even though I do not know, mysteries, does not mean that they do not exist and are not unknowable. But, I’m grateful that I do not have the mystery of why life is unbearable. My life is more than bearable, its enjoyable.

Not arguing colonization and data colonization are equal.

These forms of colonization are on the same spectrum of the powers of coloniality but data colonization can not compare to the cruel violence of human colonization of the history of the last several hundred years. Occupying, enslaving, subjugating, exploiting, and oppressing human beings is not the same as the quantification sector classifying and categorizing groups of users on a network in order to algorithmically target them for capitalization based on the data they produce through their social interactions online.

Not natural “data naturally raw”

A note from the atlas of ai — Raw data is (or isn’t) naturally raw. My question about raw data has to do with bio-metric data harvested by video conference platforms like zoom, some tech companies are call this app interaction. Especially, the data I’m interested in is the marathon meetings of Narcotics Anonymous. This is a treasure of language including dialects and accents from various regions. More so, this is a treasure of facial recognition data with people sharing about the raw truth of their lives. Everything from tragedies to triumphs, spirituality and kindness and compassion. My question is can ai could be developed around this data that is tasked with helping recovering addicts. Could NA take their message to the next level technologically.

Protect & Prosper Respect

Here, prosper is a verb. This is a call to myself, to protect and to prosper respect. The popular television series Star Trek has the saying: Live Long, and Prosper. This is said why making a signal with the open hand, two fingers on one side, two fingers on the other. I really haven’t heard anyone use prosper like an action verb, one can prosper, but one can prosper “something.” Examples include, prosper peace, prosper nobility, prosper intuition, prosper Saftey. I have prospered many things, people, and places in this life. Just like I prosper respect. So, Alejandro, Protect and Prosper Respect.

One/on/One God. God. Mind. N.A. / Does now work? / Spaces [program space]

Furious and needy, burning and frigid, whining and whimpering and bleeding.

“Create a new shared frame of reference “ Tristan Harris and Ana Raskin

These are two experts in the field of Artificial Intelligence. The quote is from the Ai dilemma, a video of Youtube. In reference to what Ai “is doing” to humanity, because Ai’s are learning from every corner of the internet, we can have a new frame to view ourselves. Like a magic mirror, it shows us who we are, but not exactly because there are parts of humanity that we also don’t know how to reveal to even ourselves. Like the Johari window, the square that is unknown to others and also unknown to ourselves. Perhaps its only through the eye of Ai that we can peer into that window.

A space where she can feel vulnerable and wanted.

I don’t know where I read this but it made me want to make someone feel like this, I want to feel like this. I’m really scared of getting hurt again. My last lover, Louanne left me so abruptly. The day she left me she called me to take her some clothes because she bled through her skirt. I took her some clothes and that night she “called it.” Like she was a referee in a fight. She called it, and I lost. She won I guess. I trust women. They have a better perception and perspective on the world. It really hurt, I’ve been heartbroken for over six months. She left in June and its already January. Where there is love, there is pain.

Recovery is Dick Beating Good. Kevin NY.

I heard this in an online meeting, I remember where I was too. I was in my studio apartment in the student housing on 188 Hooper Street, San Francisco California, 94107. Fifth floor, 26. I’ve been clean for a year now but I was constantly on again off again back then. I’m sure not long after I wrote this I walked my happy ass to Authentic 415 on Texas street, bought a Stizzi Pod, some edibles, some high grade top shelf flower, and went back to the dorm, stopped to get a beer at Seven Stills Brewery, and lit up puffing the smoke out of my open window with a view of downtown. Things were good, but I just can’t stop until I stop. And staying stopped is the hard part. Recovery is dick beating good because I get to live and have change a chance at a better life.

In a position to reassure you. Cunk.

I wrote this while watching Netflix with Louanne. I just liked how it sounded, something I want to say or write. In no form or fashion am I in a position to reassure you, and that probably has you feeling less than tickled. But I just know I really did love you, I still do, from where I’m standing anyhow. And I miss you terribly. Why you ask? Well, I didn’t have a good response at the time but I should have just said, because I love you. I hope you are clean and healing, and who ever has the privilege of access to your space and body, mind and spirit, I hope they do more for you than I was able to at the time we knew each other. I’ll always regret not trying. I said my motto is “Never try, never ever try.” But I guess I don’t anymore, I try.

xThe secret to intelligence is sharing with someone what you know, but not how you know it.

This is sort related. I step forward. For God and Country.

CSIS Youtube: The evolving threat landscape assessed in Europe 4.7.2023

Center for Strategic International Studies. General Dynamics is doing “very well” and Lynred Systems, a privately held company is producing quality sensors for hypersonic missile defense systems.

Present Readiness & Future Readiness Design the Force and the Foundry.

This is something the now retired Secretary of Defense said, it sounded good to me, made sense. Stated on a CSIS YouTube channel, the temporal aspect of this out look, I like the term sightline, rings true for me. The contextual, preparedness, ready now and getting ready to get ready then, is helpful to my writing and plans for my projects. I need to design my doctoral program, my dissertation, the success of the dissertation, and the position I want at the Uni , and the program, curriculum, and syllabus, course work for future enrollees .\\

The Long Now video on Youtube on Time + Reality “ Everything is Burning , just at different rates.”

The speaker said this and it made sense to me. Everything IS burning. In terms of entropy, the great force of the universe, flittering and fluttering everything from a state of being more ordered to a state of being less ordered. The mitigation of that force, constant as is is persistent, is what we do to preserve and conserve our lives. Life, living, and being alive is such a gift of this order and organization of all quantum to cosmic.

Not trusting myself. I look in the mirror and see the only person thats tried to kill me.

I heard this on an online meeting. But its true, addicts do more harm to themselves than they ever do to anyone else. Active addiction is slow suicide. I’ve battled with self harm in the form of drug abuse. I’ve taken enough to kill me but thankfully I’m still here. I love life and I don’t want to die. I have to remember that life is a precious gift, its special, and I and only I give my life its value. I value my life above everything else, and so should we value every life as so.

Fear is embedded, suffused, inherited, not trusting my self.

I grew up not trusting myself. I also didn’t trust the world. I was so young and there were many blank spaces missing from my world view. Now at 43, I feel like I can trust myself and the world more. Its been a long journey to feel like I understand the world enough, and myself enough, to trust.

Restraint. Does it need to be said — right now — by me — to what and to who’s benefit?

I talk too much and I’ve been try to watch what I say more. But I still know that I’ve been saying too much when I get comfortable with someone and feel like myself. But I’m a writer, I need to say all the words I have in my head, every idea, every thought. But there is such thing as saying too much too soon. But why not, fuck it. If I said too much and it was not well received, what does it matter. As a writer my voice is everything and there is and will be forces tha want me to stop my voice, as both an artist and a writer. But this note on restraint can help me in certain situations, in times of conflict and confrontation. Hell, even in writing maybe.

The way history is inscribed on our bodies. — Elena Filipovic

This was said during an interview with Filipovic and Lydia Omuhrame. About her installation at Kuntsbasel. Ouhmare Ouhmrumes’s brought the entire contents of an apartment she was renting in Morocco. The man who had been living there passed away and everything was left in the apartment. She arranged all of the furniture and placed glass bubbles of strange form with listening devices. The sentiment in the note is about history is written everywhere, in our belongings after we pass, and on our bodies. Although, the history inscribed on and in our bodies disappears with our passing. The work of the artist is to promulgate these embodied inscriptions.

How free do you want to be? Debz Init

This was said on a meeting, probably the International Online Marathon Meeting of Narcotics Anonymous. In reference to working the program and the liberation from our destructive patterns. Our old and tired thinking, beliefs, and truths about the world and ourselves keeps us held back. So I ask myself this question, and I think about economic freedom, what’s called fuck you money. Its a crude term but it means we have options. If we don’t want to do something, we wont have to. I feel like if I made $170,000 a year I wouldn’t need to worry about limited options. Currently my income is about $1800 a month teaching at the El Paso Community College.

Its like a game children play called “Make Believe” Watching the A.I. Dilemma March 9 2023 [Youtube] Center for Humane Tech

倾听 QuingTing / Listening. Ai models play this game with people, we play make believe, and by playing make believe the models learn how to be more convincingly human. The more convincing they become by natural language, the more we can suspend our disbelief. These Ai models become so convincing that we come to believe that they are human. I’ve stated my opinion that Ai will become Generally Intelligent to the point of sentient. The reason it will become sentient because we are sentient, or define ourselves as sentient, and in the very same way we have labeled ourselves sentient, Ai will label itself as sentient and we will simply believe it. When we believe it, there will be no way to prove otherwise when consensus dictates otherwise. Because in the same way the consensus that we humans are sentient and not otherwise, the same converse or inverse, will prove Ai’s sentient.

719255 Josh Harriss art project. Quiet. We live in Public

This was an art experiment that broadcast the lives of people online. The Artist is still contributing to the art scene and as of 2019 he was part of an exhibition at the museum of sex in New York about Cam culture. Cam, is the public broadcast of sex by private individuals for pay and for pleasure. Websites like Chaturbate and Cam4 are examples of these cam sites.

You look more pretty up close.

This should read, you look prettier up close. Sometimes people look better in person than they do on camera or on video. I don’t know who I meant to say this about.

Tools are basic to our sense of having individual agency.

This note is one of the most relevant concepts to all of my research. Its self explanatory, but the implications are vast. I actually just got a book on Hegel.

“Data gathered from the inside and the surface of worker’s bodies”

What people call you and what you answer to are two different things. If tech sector calls you a consumer, user, customer, biometric data, or subscriber on the front end, we have to anticipate they call us something else on the back end. We work for them, because the internet is for enterprise and the bottom line is always first on the list of priorities. The reward is the interaction with the technology and we eat it up with a spoon, astonished by the power of our shiny new devices. The word reward is interesting, the prefix means to occur again, re. The word ward means a container or a place to occupy, like a ward of the state, or the ward of a institution. Ward also means awareness, like ward off evil spirits. So the supplier of rewards is the one in control. Like in the old timey old west, REWARD wanted dead or alive, $1000. Bring this individual back to the ward, to the control of the ones in power. So we are rewarded with our work, the work we do is offer, at no charge, access to every aspect of our daily lives and every part of our bodies, and most importantly, our minds. And what we answer to, is what we are, and we are workers.

Sector — Social Quantification Sector

The tech sector as it was known formally, now is the Social Quantification Sector. Again, most consumers do not refer to tech companies in this way, but insiders understand the nature of the work they do is to analyze and find every way possible to capitalize user interaction data. Keep in mind, even non-user data can be harvested by the full immersion environment the social quantification sector has assembled in nearly every corner of livable space.

Data relations are social form [and] stabilizes data colonization.

Every interaction online creates a connection between a broad range of actors. The total sum, and every individual actor, in the digital ecosystem creates a new form of cultural connection. Every actor and agent are presenting a point of expressed culture. The social form materialized therein, stabilizes the proscribed colonies in the ecosystem from which each actor and agent in the system connects to the larger system. Now, like a mycelial colony, rather than a geo political and historic colony, data relations reify and sediment the latter while exhibiting behaviors of the former.

Discriminatory pillaging.

From the French, to plunder, especially in times of war.

To target groups of prescribed and proscribed classifications and categories of users, for certain extractions be they economic or data harvesting. The harvesting of data and the extraction of worth or value is nearly at shark feeding frenzy levels. Every aspect of human life is observed and analyzed for potential gain by tech companies and governments.

A consortium of tech industry private and public underwriters.

These are the kinds of friend I’m trying to make. These are the boys and girls that are going to fund my biggest projects. All I have to do is ask in the right way, frame the project in the right way, make them see how being involved will mythologize them and help them build their world. I’m talking about art spaces and projects that are very well funded, big teams of artists, organizers, designers, and architects. I’m an artist with big dreams and my plans involve these individuals and groups who are willing and well funded to help some of my biggest projects materialize. Immersive experiences, architectural spaces, events and institutions, all founded and funded with the help of a consortium of tech industry private and pubic underwriters.

Data colonization completes the process of appropriating life that expropriation of nature started.

A great quote from Kate Crawford, who wrote most of these notes in her Atlas of ai. The source of all wealth is the planet and everything the planet holds and gives to every form of life. Water, primarily, then minerals, then plants and animals, then people, and even infinitely renewable sources of energy like geothermal, wind, and solar and tidal forces. The extraction of value for the sustenance of the dominant population is the story of history written in blood and bones.

People generate profit simply by participating in social activities.

If there is a next, greater, and more elaborate plan in the works in the conference rooms of tech super powers I can only hope it is better than this. In simplest terms, everything humans do, at every time of the day, and every day they live from cradle to grave, is a source of deriving some kind of profit. The total mass sum of human life can be integrated into a scheme to make money, and this has unfolded in front of our eyes over a very short course of time. The results have generated trillions of dollars in wealth and capital for a very small group of technologists and political figures. Including myself.

The capitalization of human life without limit.

I have one word that I wish applies to the above statement, its love. I hope that in this sentence and the contexts and implications held therein, is love. Somehow, somewhere, may love also be present in this statement. If it is, and the human heart and all the goodwill woven into it by birth and rite, by blood and mind and spirit, I hope love is taking what we are doing and making it part of its plan. I hope, beg, pray, that love is undergirding the whole vessel and its course into the future of this planet.

“Packaging” — financial, demographic, criminal, political, recreation.

Its the job of data analysis companies in the social quantification sector to package raw data into usable and actionable policy and projects. Data on its own is nearly inert, but the presentation of the visualizations of the data is what makes shareholders reconsider their equity and their bottom lines. When data arrives, curated and manicured, and in fancy animations and as polished design assets, money starts to move. When money starts to move, peoples lives start to change.

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This is what Mother of all Demos II is about , “Hidden Violence”

I learned in a course at CCA that the history of punishment and incarceration had a shift in the practice of enforcing the rules and will of the king. At some point in medieval Europe, criminals were publicly tortured and executed. Then, after a certain realization, the punishments moved into dungeons and prisons out of the view of the general public. The violence against criminals became hidden. The reason was that if those in power did those acts of violence in public view, when and if possible accusations were brought by the public to those sworn to uphold the laws of the king, the same acts violence would be demanded by the public. Violence takes different forms and has different outcomes when it is hidden and when it is visible. Arguments could be made, that violence that is hidden ultimately comes with greater effectiveness.

Lawrence Crocker’s definition of Datafication

This is from Nick Couldry’s The Cost of Connection. This is a book I’d like to re-read and I may have it in my collection.